Maybe what they say about our 20s is true. We should confused, lost, and trying to find our footing on this unstable world we are living in. My name is Veronica. I am 24 years old. I have a Bachelor's Degree. I am unemployed. I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life, or even how to get moving in the direction I want. My only idea of a goal right now is to be a tour manager or even a merch person. I want to travel with a band. It is something I have wanted to do for a long time and the dream has not died yet. Unfortunately, every door that has seemed to open to lead in that direction ended up closing, or only leading to a closet that went no where. I have spent countless hours doing mundane tasks to help out bands. I worked at a music venue for two years. I have helped at a management company (two actually). And yet here I sit. Feeling no closer to finding a job, or an opportunity than I was back in college. I am lost. I am unsure that I am even looking in the right direction. And I have no idea where to go or what to do about that.
Thankfully, at the current moment, I have enough money in the bank to keep paying rent and eating and living at least slightly comfortably for the next few months. But then what? What is the purpose of me being here if all I do is sit around and watch netflix, surf the internet for jobs, and get no closer to any real anything...?
On a positive note, things are going well in my social life. I am continuing to learn how to invest in friendships with people and actually try to connect with them. This is something I have struggled with for a long time. The cynical part of me tells me to be a hermit because eventually everyone leaves. But I know that is the worst perspective to have on life, and it will get me absolutely nowhere. I like people. And I like being around them, because I know that other people have a lot to teach me about myself and the world. And I want to learn. Besides, I am no good at being a hermit. It's boring.
I have been spending a lot of time reading and watching countless hours of what-have-you. I love reading a good story. A book where I can completely lose myself in an alternative universe. Where I can connect so heavily with a character that I actually feel emotions as I flip through the pages. It's not terribly often that I find a book that really pulls me in that way, but when I find the right one, I love the feeling. So if you have any great book suggestions for me, please let me know. Until then, I am going to start the Harry Potter series over again, because those were the characters I grew up with and I want to get lost in that emotion again.
I am terrible at blogging. I have no idea what I am writing or why anyone would want to read it. But there is a taste of what is happening in my brain. I hope it was at least a little bit insightful.
